There are two types of people in this world. Those that will survive the zombie apocalypse and those that won't. Those that will are the type that, upon entering a building, assess its entry and exit points, tend to gravitate towards second story residences, and always seem to have a crowbar with them. Those that don't have a propensity towards long hair, loose clothing, and panic.

As Steampunks we are probably in a better position for the end of the world then most. We believe in do-it-yourself, sustainable materials, and practice fundamentally vital and sustainable technologies. All these are handy when political and economic infrastructure has gone sliding down the gullet of the howling undead.

It is with these things in mind that I read World War Z. It is a faux-oral history of the zombie wars, the global zombie incursion that happened twelve years before the book was written. It's written by the same man who brought us the invaluable "Zombie Survival Guide", a book so realistic one would think Max Brooks has had some experiences we don't know about.

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Imagine, if you will, a mad scientist's genetic amalgamation of Socrates, William Gibson and Tolstoy. Then imagine this creature was sent to live in a secluded convent of monks for fifty years. Then, imagine he is dropped into the middle of a major metropolitan city with a typewriter. Try to come up with a idea of what he would write. About to blow a gasket in your head?

It seems the muses decided that genetic manipulation and gregorian monasteries were a tad on the short side, so rather than going through the whole complicated process imagined above, they just told Neal Stephenson about the Millennium clock, to more or less the same result.

That result is titled Anathem, and is Stephenson's latest work. Its hard to really put the novel in words. As with so many of his works, there are multiple layers – first  is the plot, second is the concept, and third is the ideas. The plot follows a young man who has grown up his entire life in a mathematical/philosophic convent, in a  world which is being shaken up by fantastic and unprecedented events. To say any more really just ruins it. The next layer, the concept, is a world where the long term is taken seriously. The people and organizations think on a a scale of thousands of years rather than their own lifetimes. This world is split into the 'Mathic' world of thinkers (the aforementioned academic monks) and the 'Saecular' world (all casino's, rising and falling empires, chemical dependancies and pogroms). Thirdly, is the idea, which is, as I go it, socratic and plutonic philosophy applied on a societal level.

Sounds dense? Well I wont lie to you, it is. But the entire thing is dipped in the dark chocolate of Stephenson's wit and skillful wordsmithing. The man turns dry philosophic discussions between characters into fascinating dialog and makes what would otherwise be slow and plodding approach a break neck race, so much so that by the end of the 850 some pages, your still grasping for more.

Shakespeare. The name sort of takes over a page doesn't it? It dominates, stealing the spotlight from whatever you might have actually been writing about. The man and his works are such a literary institution, so contentious and widely loved that just the name alone almost represents an entity beyond the person. Either that, or I'm (metaphorically) talking out of my ass.

Now, try and keep both of those ideas in mind for this next bit. Imagine a work that doesn't just steal the spotlight from Shakespeare, but does it using his own play. Impressive eh? Unless you think I'm full of crap. Then you'll have to actually judge the piece on its own merits. Luckily, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is a play by Tom Stoppard. It follows two minor characters from Shakespeare's Hamlet through the background of said play as they fumble about with existentialism, fate, and probability (among other things).

Now, I'm going to commit a crime here and tell you the ending: They die. Course, if you didn't know that already, you shouldn't be reading this play. While not technically vital, you really should have a decent enough knowledge of Hamlet to at least know the plot. Without it, you might be able to follow the dialog (maybe), and you could probably piece together a few of the deeper themes through out the story, but much of the humor and pretty much the entire plot will be lost on you.

The Cruise of the Alerte is one part travel guide, one part high seas adventure, and one part farce. It is the story of E.F. Knight, an English writer and lawyer in 1889, who receives a map that claims the location of buried pirate treasure and his subsequent adventure (if you could call it that) in following it. 

From what I can tell, it is a true story, written by E.F. Knight himself. Truthfully, this is confirmed by the book itself. It lacks the high adventure, harrowing thrills and dervish like plot twists that most fictional tails, especially those involving lost pirate treasure, contain. However, its true story label turns it from a dull tale into a droll and some times hilariously farcical yarn.

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I will be blunt. Jeeves and Wooster is brilliant. Well, sort of. Jeeves is brilliant. Wooster is a complete idiot. It is off this dichotomy that Life With Jeeves, a three book omnibus by P.G. Wodehouse containing The Inimitable Jeeves, Very Good, Jeeves!, and Right Ho, Jeeves, is based on. The three books were written and take place in 1930's London and concern themselves with Bertram Wilberforce "Bertie" Wooster and his 'gentleman's personal gentleman' (which is to say valet), Reginald Jeeves (almost uniformly referred to as, simply, 'Jeeves'). 

Bertie Wooster is a young minor aristocrat, a member of the idle rich who spends most of his time either in hi-jinx with various friends and family, traveling (though usually reluctantly) or at his Gentleman's club, The Drones. He is, to be frank, a complete moron, though cheerfully so. Despite this mental handicap he is a intensely likable fellow, if only to the readers. 

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I've always disliked quotes. It seems to me that if you're going to say something, you might as well say it yourself. It doesn't help that I rarely hear a quote that hasn't been beaten to death harder then a punching bag at a military training base. I swear, if I hear one more person say "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake," like they're subversive and original for doing so I will . . . well, probably roll my eyes derisively and make a snide comment. 

The main reason for this is that I am a Curmudgeon. For those who don't know what a curmudgeon is, the following should be illuminating.

Cur ⠂mud ⠂geon\,ker-'mujh-uh-n N [origin unknown]

1 archaic: A crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man

2 modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner

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Many of you have probably heard of Neal Stephenson's The Diamond Age for its prevalent use of Neo-Victorianism, and for it being an wonderful novel. However, you may not have heard of his earlier work Snow Crash. Where The Diamond Age was a bildungsroman set in a nano-technologically influenced future, Snow Crash is a cyberpunk novel to its core, up there with William Gibson's Neuromancer. 

The book focuses mainly on Hiroaki "Hiro" Protagonist, a free-lance hacker and, until the start of the book, pizza delivery-man for the mafia. You start with Hiro losing his job, and end with a mind blowing adventure involving ancient Sumerian linguistics and mythology, national super powers, pseudo-neurological techno-plots to take over the world, and skateboarding punks. On the way you also get a look at the future of the internet and virtual reality, the workings of a fully instantiated laissez-fair economy, the inner dialog of a burb muscle-head and a massive dose of Neal Stephenson's side splitting dark humor. Also starring are Y.T (standing for Yours Truly), a 'Kourier' who becomes Hiro's partner in the adventure, Juanita Marquez, a techno-mystic obsessed with the hijacking of Christianity, and Fido, a cyborg 'rat-thing' used as attack dogs by the franchise, 'Mr. Lee's Greater Hong Kong'.